Stop for a moment and consider this relationship – Paul works extremely long hours – he enjoys work but primarily in the current climate he is making sure he is not one of those people that his company is considering making redundant, his partner Carla spends all of her time looking after their two children – cooking, washing, taking them to school and acting as a taxi for their very busy social lives! Now Paul feels that she does not have time for his needs and is not interested in him any more

So what do you think? – Can this relationship be saved? Should this relationship be saved? Personally I think this describes many relationships in this day and age (perhaps it even describes your relationship) and I think it should be saved, so here are 5 steps which could really save this relationship.

1 – First step is to decide whether the relationship is worth saving. Truth is, whilst every relationship can be saved with a little hard work, ultimately both parties must decide and agree that they want to make things work – If one of the partners has opted out and does not want to opt back in again, then the reality is that little can be done.

Unfortunately too many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient, or because of the children – but that really is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment from both parties that they both think the relationship is worth saving.

2 – The next step is to identify what the actual problem – or even problems there are in the relationship. One of the biggest problems in How to Save a Relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

Now most people would say that an affair is a problem that causes a relationship to break up – however the reality is that the affair is actually a symptom of a deeper problem within the relationship itself. For instance a lack of true intimacy between the partners can lead to one of them straying, now the injured party may well say – well the affair was what caused us to break up, when the actual truth was that there was no intimacy between the two partners.

By not dealing with the intimacy issue, all you are doing is putting the problem off to raise itself again in the future, now the future problem may well not be another affair, but it could be another problem – and this is all because you have not dealt with the core issue. When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

3 – Now that the core issues are on the table, you can start to share your thoughts. This not only means verbalizing your own feelings but also allowing your partner to do the same thing and listening to their concerns. One great piece of advice here is to make sure you hold your partners hand when you are talking about your problems as a sign that you want to re-connect even when your emotions are all over the place, but remember when your partner talks about things that hurt you – they are not doing this because they want to hurt you, but because they want to improve the relationship.

4 – Create an action plan – now that you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan on how to save your relationship and solve the problems. Then, make sure you take concrete steps to put your plan into action. If you don’t spend time together like you used to – then plan at least one date every week and make sure you stick to it. Both of you take turns in coming up with creative things to do on that night. Maybe talking or not communicating is the issue – well then plan to spend some regular time (perhaps before you go to bed) with no other distractions such as TV or even the kids! and talk.

5 – Finally, saving a relationship is not a one time throw away thing – it is an ongoing process and at times it may seem like trying to push water up hill! – You may take two steps forward only to take one step back – but hey if it is worth saving then it is worth going through a little pain – there is going to be equal measures of laughter and tears going forward. So remember to be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

So after all of that – is your relationship worth saving? Is your relationship very similar to the relationship outlined at the top of this article? If so then I have detailed a number of steps on how to save a relationship.

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Visit Dimitri Halley’s Facebook Page: www.facebook.com The Relationship Quantum physics and the Unconscious is explored. The unconscious is also proposed as the missing link in understanding The Secret. Quantum physics is availed to explain how we unconsciously create toxic patterns in… … dimitri halley quantum unconscious Jung The Secret Law of Attraction subatomic Matrix Phenomenon illusion event horizon Karma Programs hidden Patterns mind body connection Chopra life string theory …

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Jackie Evans writes and talks about relationship issues, you can find out more about relationship issues at her website

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Dating Tips For Teens

The truth about maintaining a relationship is too both male and female have to be projected to dedicate there while to each other. They have to be able to bond and get for the duration of any problems they face. There are weird sides to consumers and a lot of the other sides only pop out during a relationship. People have a propensity to show you a nicer part or pretend to be as nice as prospective until properties hold to live with you.

Dating with women can be time consuming and a lot of people have certain needs and certain expectations that they require from you. If they are not met, that causes women to look for what they need somewhere else. This causes cheating in relationships and can destroy relationships. The key is not to stay on top of them for everything but watch them and make sure their happy.

Another altercation you may find is that they want to move the relationship into something very big in a short amount of time. I tend to tell a lot of people that they have to agree on things and think with two heads instead of one. When the agreements are not met, they both need to meet in the middle and agree on something. Dating Tips For Teens

Sometimes this case is very hard and require more thought. The most important thing is that you understand that life is never perfect and even though you meet the perfect looking girl. You may not end up with the perfect relationship or life. Sometimes the girls that you known your whole entire life can be the ones they can provide you with the best relationships.

A lot of people also get into the relationships for wrong reasons. For example, money is one of the biggest reasons. A quick tip for all the guys reading is to try to come off as normal and average as possible. The reason is because if you flash a lot of money around and act rich, you always run into problems. Whether its haters or just girls that to get you for all you got. Be careful and make sure the girl actually likes you for who you are. The best way to achieve this, is to be average guy and do not show off.

The last tip for you will be what to look for when you notice someone is interested in you but wants you to continuously spend your money. Once they usually act really happy to see you and want to you spend money on them. The best thing to do is to leave your wallet in the car and put a certain amount of money in it. If you come back and there is money missing, you should break it off. Even if they look beautiful, break it off. That will save money and will let you know right away. If you can not provide for them, then they will leave you. That is the worst way to have a relationship, , be nice but watch out for gold diggers. Start taking actions to Change your social life forever! Get your Dating Tips For Teens now.

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Most women know some about how things are supposed to work in a committed relationship…  But if you’re single, do you really know how things work with a man in the Courtship and Uncommitted phases?

Or, do you find that this is where you get stuck or things go wrong for you again and again?

These 2 earlier stages are where most women get stuck and never end up finding the love and lasting relationship they want.

>The most important thing you need to get the man in your life excited to jump into a committed relationship is not TALKING about COMMITMENT.

But that’s the mistake lots of women make – thinking that talking about commitment will make a man want it.

Wrong.

Yes, HOW you talk to a man about committing makes a huge difference for whether or not he commits once you have “the talk.”

But what’s more powerful is how your man FEELS about you while you’re still in what I call an Uncommitted Relationship.

Here’s the thing…

A man isn’t deeply and intensely attracted to a woman he’s dating who acts like she NEEDS him.

If you’re constantly talking, thinking or worrying about commitment with a man in the FUTURE… it gets in the way of him growing close and falling for you in the PRESENT.

When you try and CONVINCE a man to want to be with you because of your own feelings or fear or uncertainty… it makes a man RESIST.

There’s nothing that can turn a man off more than the woman he’s dating wanting or needing to rush into a committed relationship.

Why? … In short, if a man’s only been dating a woman for a few weeks or months, then he knows that the woman doesn’t know him well enough… and he gets turned off.

It feels needy and desperate.

When a man feels a woman needing or wanting a commitment early on because she feels
UNCOMFORTABLE taking the time getting to know each other – he gets a strange feeling inside that tells him something is wrong.

Now, are men right? Do men get to set the “time table” for when couples should commit?

No.

But… when a woman starts to lose her cool, become unglued emotionally, or worries and reacts in negative ways because she’s feels vulnerable about her feelings and not having a commitment – It doesn’t make a man want to commit.

Instead, it makes him pull back… Have you had this happen in the past?

The more you became worried about what was going on while you were dating a man, and the more concerned you got about wanting a commitment – the more the man in your life pulled away.

If so, I want to show you easy ways to handle the most critical moments that come up with men in the “Uncommitted Relationship.”

A few of these critical “make or break” situations are:

-Talking about and becoming Exclusive
-What to do if he says he’s “not ready”
-He stops making plans and pulls away
-And several more…

If you’ve run into one of the critical situations and had it lead to breaking your
relationship apart…

Then, would you like to know how to get it right next time so that in your next relationship you can sail smoothly through these bumps in the road that are guaranteed to come up?

Or, are you going to keep letting them become problems and situations that end up changing the way the man in your life feels about you?

I’ll show you what each of the Critical Moments you need to know …

And, I’ll walk you through each one and give you real tools and tips on exactly what to SAY and DO in each moment HERE.

Love & Success,

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I’m about to let you know the real reasons why men in relationships so often act this way… and what to do about it.

I’m also about to explain why so many women end up in unfulfilling relationships with men who “TAKE TAKE TAKE”, and why these women so often end up getting little back for all their efforts.

First off, tell me if this sounds at all familiar…

You meet a great guy and you start dating.

The “chemistry” is simply AMAZING and you can’t believe how into connecting and sharing he is…even on that emotional level where other men often fall flat.

You spend time together and keep growing closer, and you start to believe that maybe you’ve finally found that amazing friend, companion and lover all in one.

He’s so open and caring… listens and pays attention to you and what’s going with you in a way that few men you’ve met can.

Your connection is unbelievable.

You both know you can count on each other in ways that feel like you’re closer than you have been with a man in a long, long time.

Since you’re both so close, he starts to depend on you for a few things in his life… and you’re happy to help him since you really care about him and are a generous and loving person.

But, as time goes on, something starts to slowly “shift.”

It starts with small things…

He starts acting a little differently, and stops doing a lot of the things he used to do that made you admire and respect him.

Somehow, he seems less confident, present, and “connected” with you.

And then you notice…

There’s something different about how he depends on you, and it sets off your “radar.”

You start to wonder if how he is with you is entirely healthy.

You start to feel “drained” with him and with the relationship more and more… but you know that a relationship is about give and take, so you keep giving and have faith that things are going fine.

More time passes and you start to notice something else…

You see that he isn’t becoming more appreciative of all the things you’re doing for
him and your relationship.

In fact, it feels like he’s starting to take more and more of it for granted.

Actually, he seems LESS APPRECIATIVE of you and your relationship in general.

He starts asking and depending on you even more, without any real thanks or reciprocation.

The more he does this, the more you sense that there’s a kind of needy “childishness” inside him that’s becoming clearer.

You want to be there for him and be a great partner… but you also want that fun, strong, playful, loving, confident man back who was there before things changed.

With all this going on, you’re not exactly sure of what to do about it or what’s going on for him that’s making him act this way.

He doesn’t seem to pay you the same attention, give the same affection and support that you give him, and it’s starting to feel unfair and bother you.

Your relationship is starting to feel like it’s all about making sure “he’s” happy.

Which of course doesn’t leave much room for what’s going on for YOU.

You know things can’t go on this way if your relationship is going to work and be something worthwhile and “real.”

He’s got to see what’s going on and stop being so self-involved.

You know that he’s had some challenges in his own life and maybe he just doesn’t see what’s going on. So, you decide to not make a big deal out of it. But, you know that something needs to change… soon.

So, you finally decide to talk to him about what’s going on.

You go over in your head again and again what you’re going to say to him and what’s been going on for the last several months.

You’re sure that he’ll see what’s been happening and all the things you’ve been doing for him and the relationship, and he’ll give you some understanding.

But when you talk to him, it doesn’t work out this way… AT ALL.

Instead of hearing you and your intentions to get things back to a better place between you two, he just becomes frustrated, irritated and
DEFENSIVE with you.

Instead of hearing you, he makes you feel like you’re “nagging” him and creating “drama.”

He even acts like you’re the one being ridiculous and withdraws from you.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

This situation where you know you’re giving and getting less than nothing back STINKS.

And unfortunately, it’s a common experience lots of women have in relationships with men.

Now, there are about 50 things I could tell you about how men are at fault and create these problems for themselves and for you in your relationship.

But the reality is that you’ve already spent hours thinking about this before and have a lot of your own ideas about it.

That is partially why I’m NOT going to talk about what’s going on with men here and what to do about it.

At least not yet.

Right now we’re going to talk about YOU.

Why?

Because thinking about YOURSELF is the first step towards real GROWTH and AWARENESS in EVERY RELATIONSHIP you have in your life.

You could spend days, weeks, months or years worrying about a man, what he thinks, and why he does the things he does.

But if you want to be smart…

And you want relationships to start “working” for you, instead of seeming like a never ending source of frustration and disappointment trying to get a man to make the relationship work…

Then you’ll make sure you have things handled for yourself first.

And that way you’ll have the CERTAINTY that only comes from understanding what’s happening in the relationship around you… and what YOU need to do in each situation that comes up with a man.

THE ONE QUESTION THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH A MAN INSTANTLY

If you’re at the most basic levels of what I call “emotional maturity” in your life, then you’ve started to recognize something very important and significant about yourself…

You’ve recognized that you have a few PATTERNS coming up in your relationships.

Of course, some of these patterns are positive traits that bring benefits, center around your personal preferences, and involve things you bring into your life CONSCIOUSLY and for good reason.

But the reality is these aren’t the only kind of patterns you have in your life.

You also have a special group of “negative patterns.”

Patterns that you save just for MEN.

So, let me ask you a very simple question.

It’s a question that could very well change the course of your love life IMMEDIATELY once you answer it.

Here’s the question – Do you know your “negative patterns” in relationships with men?

You might have a few of these that you already know about that you can rattle off in your head right now without really thinking about it.

THESE ARE NOT THE PATTERNS I’M LOOKING FOR TO IMPROVE YOUR LOVE LIFE.

You already know about these patterns and this knowledge still doesn’t seem to be helping you if you’re running into the same issues and situations again and again.

Which is why it’s obvious that “what” you already know isn’t going to help you learn and grow past these situations with men for good.

You need to expand your PERSPECTIVE.

That’s why I’m looking for the patterns that you DON’T see right now, and that you aren’t CONSCIOUS of.

Here’s where we’re going to take ACTION…

Right now, I want you to give yourself the time and space for the next 5 minutes to think about your own patterns in your past or present relationships with men.

And, I want you to put everything else aside just for a few short moments while you focus on YOURSELF.

By the way, if you don’t have time to do this now, then you probably never will.

And I know it’s a simple question, but the AWARENESS and GROWTH that can come from your answer is what’s going to change your love life immediately.

So now that you’ve made the time, I want you to think about the following -

I want you to come up with at least TWO of your own negative relationship patterns with men.

And I don’t just mean patterns that are really about men… such as “I always pick men who are clueless about loving relationships.”

This is focusing on HIM, not YOU.

I mean something like “I meet men and quickly spend all my time with them. But soon I see that I’ve “lost myself” and I am not able to have a healthy balance. And inevitably, we end up breaking up and I resent all the time I spent on the relationship and him, instead of spending more time on myself.”

That’s one common example lots of women have experienced.

Now, it’s your turn.

I want you to come up with 2 other patterns that have to do with YOU and things that come from YOUR THINKING or BEHAVIOR.

I’m going to give you a few minutes to do it now. I’m going to give you another minute to make sure you have your two patterns.

OK. So now you have two clear patterns of your own in your head.

Take out a pen and a piece of paper right now and write down the patterns you identified.

Do it now, I’ll wait.

Good.

I want you to keep this piece of paper somewhere you can look at it again in a few days or weeks.

It will be important to look at what you wrote down again at least once in the next few days.

DEVELOPING CONSCIOUSNESS TO MOVE PAST YOUR NEGATIVE AND SELF-DEFEATING “PATTERNS” IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN

Now that you’ve got your two negative patterns, here’s where things are going to start coming together for you…

First, I need you to get away from a dangerous kind of thinking that ALL WOMEN engage in when it comes to men, dating and relationships.

I call it “All-or-Nothing Thinking.”

Do you know any women who talk about how their relationship is hopeless and a complete failure…

And then a few hours or days later they have shifted 180 degrees to where EVERYTHING is great?

What does this say about the woman who thinks and feels this way?

What kind of relationship and communication “skills” does a woman like this have?

And how do you think a man experiences this kind of thinking and behavior… and what does it say to him about a woman?

Of course, this is an extreme example of “All-or-Nothing Thinking.”

Unfortunately, the more common “All-or-Nothing Thinking” is subtle and difficult to recognize.

Especially when YOU are the one having the thoughts.

So, let me ask you…

When you look at your pattern, is there a negative trait or habit of yours that stands out as the one that gets you into trouble the most?

I’m certain there is. I want you to identify at least one of your greatest WEAKNESSES that shows up in your life through your negative patterns.

I’ll give you a minute to write this down next to the pattern it’s associated with.

Now there’s something I want you to think about…

It makes sense to cut this negative trait or habit that’s associated with your pattern out of your relationship and behavior with a man… right?

It’s caused a lot of these problems… right?

If you cut these traits or qualities out of the way you are in a relationship with a man, then things will be better… right?

WRONG… What if the problems that come up in your negative pattern are caused by these traits?

And what if the traits in your negative pattern didn’t represent just your personal WEAKNESSES?

What if they ALSO represented your personal STRENGTHS at the same time?

If you were thinking that you should get rid of the trait or quality entirely that’s involved in your negative pattern so that things will work better in the future… then you’re going to that place of “All-or-Nothing Thinking.”

Talk about throwing out the baby with the bath water.

Over the years I’ve recognized that there’s a fascinating mistake TONS of people make in relationships, in business, and in every aspect of life…

When something isn’t working and they want to fix a problem, they don’t look at the entire “system” around them.

Instead, they focus their attention on the “symptoms” they see, in isolation.

Some people complain about “Western Medicine” having the same shortcoming. That it only addresses symptoms, instead of taking a “holistic” approach to how everything works together.

Anyway… when a person is trying to fix a problem in a relationship, by not seeing the entire “system” going on around them, they can’t see how all the elements are inter-connected.

So, when they go to make a change, they think they can change what’s related to the symptoms and everything will work better.

This is like thinking blowing your nose will cure a cold.

What’s worse, oftentimes the things that people change not only don’t work to fix the problem…

But ends up making things WORSE by affecting all the other related and inter connected things that WERE WORKING.

Talk about COUNTERPRODUCTIVE…  Don’t start solving problems and changing your relationship when you can only see the “symptoms.” There’s a better way.

You need to start looking at the whole “system” of how you and a man connect and communicate in your relationship.

You need to develop your own “holistic” approach.

Then you’ll have the PERSPECTIVE to make choices and take action that will bring more connection and understanding into your life.

So how can you start to see your own relationship with a man as the “system” that it is?  And how can you avoid the dead end strategy of trying to cover up the “symptoms”? Here’s a step towards this that you can take RIGHT NOW…

I’m going to get you out of the habit of using your destructive “All-or-Nothing Thinking.”

I want you to look at your trait or traits again that were your own WEAKNESSES in your negative relationship pattern.

Now I want you to try something that might seem strange at first.

I want you to identify at least one way in which your trait or habit in your negative relationship pattern is also a STRENGTH.

I’ll give you a minute to see how the very trait that you just identified as a WEAKNESS is also a STRENGTH.

I want you to write the STRENGTH down right now next to the pattern it’s associated with.

Go ahead. I’ll give you a few minutes.

………………………………..

OK, good.

There’s a lot of power and AWARENESS created in what you just did when you think about it – IF you stay aware of this when you’re interacting with a man in your relationship.

When you see how your WEAKNESSES, that you’ve been giving yourself a hard time about and trying to figure out how to get rid of, are also part of your STRENGTHS… things you never could have understood will start to become clear to you.

Challenges, issues, attitudes and hurtful things that a man brings to you that relate to your patterns, and these traits will start to look differently to you…

And you’ll start to have an amazing sense of CLARITY about what’s the best thing to do for you, for him, and for your relationship.

A “STRANGE TRUTH” ABOUT THE PEOPLE AND RELATIONSHIPS YOU ATTRACT IN LIFE AND LOVE

You’ve got some basic tools to work with now to understand more about what’s going on with you and your relationship.

But it really only starts here.

Are you CLEAR on how these 2 patterns come up in your life?

Do you know how to avoid “All or Nothing Thinking” the next time it comes up and tries to create DISTANCE between you and a man?

Do you know where these thoughts come from and what to do to stay conscious and overcome the negative aspects of your other destructive relationship patterns?

Do you know how to guide a man to start doing these same things to improve HIMSELF and the way he is in your relationship, so you don’t have to try and convince him of what’s going on that he can’t see or isn’t paying attention to?

Most women who aren’t in a happy, healthy, loving, lasting relationship don’t have this knowledge and the ability to stay connected with a man that comes along with it.

The strange truth is, patterns aren’t just coincidences in your life.

They keep repeating in your life for a reason.

What are the lessons that keep coming up for you in your love life that you can’t learn from where you are today, but keep coming at you?

The reality is that you have a choice…

You can keep repeating these patterns, and experiencing the pain and frustration that comes with them again and again…

This is the “easy” choice that doesn’t ask or require you to learn and grow at all.

OR…

You can create a “shift” in your life.

You can choose to have more AWARENESS and more GROWTH… which will of course bring new ways of seeing things, and best of all, NEW RESULTS in your relationship.

The choice is yours right now.

If you’ve ever wondered why you get “stuck” with a man once you get to a certain level of connection and intimacy… and then things seem to go backwards and he withdraws… then this program is going to change your life and your relationship.

One of the most critical things that’s going on inside a relationship when a “casual”, or even a committed relationship, starts to go wrong, even though there’s no lack of love or caring between the man and woman, is FEAR.

And I don’t just mean YOUR FEARS… I’m talking about a HIS FEARS, too.

There’s a reason why most men pull away and sabotage perfectly good, loving relationships with women.

And there’s a reason why YOUR FEARS are only making these things with a man WORSE.

There are clear steps that you can take to change your love life and relationship, no matter where you are right now with a man.

Shifting your PERSPECTIVE and becoming MORE CONSCIOUS is your first step… some of which we’ve touched on here.

You can stop the unnecessary PATTERNS.

You can come to terms with, and understand, the FEARS.

And you can find out, once and for all, why it is that men so often put up RESISTANCE to becoming more connected, closer and MORE COMMITTED with YOU on a physical and emotional level.

Don’t let go of this opportunity to have LASTING CHANGE and IMPROVEMENT to the quality of your love life and all your relationships.

Go to WOMEN INSPIRED and get the rest of the story.
What could come from your learning, growth, and new “relationship skills” and wisdom could be PRICELESS and last a lifetime.

Love and Success …

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Buy this DVD at: www.betterlifemedia.com Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. He uses rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in detail over many years for unprecedented insight into the inner workings of successful relationships. Here is the culmination of this life’s work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Learn how to build a positive dynamic with your spouse; Hear …

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If you anger easily, perhaps you need some techniques to <b>Keep Your Cool<b>. How you handle anger is how your children assume adults are supposed to handle anger and thus they use you as a role model.

Look deeply in your heart and discover what you are really mad about?  Rarely is the anger about the present incident, but rather unmet needs from the past.

Do you want your children to respect you? Is the underlying need for respect? Do you want people to assume personal responsiblity? Know your limits. Accept what you can’t change and let go of things out of your control.  

Here are some ideas that have worked for other parents.  Try them and see if you can control your anger rather than let your anger control you.

Ease your tension. Take a walk; listen to music, splash cold water on your face.
Earn small rewards when you make the choice not to become angry.
Phone a friend. It helps to share your concerns and talk things out.

<b>Your example helps your children learn to handle anger. Be a good role model.<b>

 
Object to the behavior if necessary, but separate the “deed from the doer.”
Use your kitchen timer for “time out” before disciplining.
Remember that everyone makes mistakes, including you and your children.

Count your breaths. Breathe in deep while counting to four. Breathe out while counting to four. Do four times.
Old tapes in your head may be making your reaction more than it should be. Are you angry because of issues in your childhood?

<b>Out of ideas to handle anger? <b>

Consider parenting classes or professional counseling.
Look objectively at the situation. Are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Is it really worth having a heart attack or stroke? This too shall pass.

Controlling angry feelings is a skill that children learn from the people who care for them. There are activities which support our development of self-control. Count to twenty, backwards! We all need to find helpful ways to intervene when anger and frustration overwhelms us or our children.

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“This is not a film about Metallica it’s a film about relationships.” – Drummer Lars Ulrich, to Rolling Stone Three years in the making, this new film from acclaimed documentary filmmakers Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky (the team that created BROTHER’S KEEPER and PARADISE LOST) provides a fascinating, in-depth portrait of the most successful heavy metal band of all time, as they faced monumental personal and professional challenges while recording their first studio album of original songs …

About Author

(c)Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke is a family coach and parent educator. She has written over 20 books and many many articles on building relationships on respect and open communication.

Please join us each Thursday for free teleclasses and radio shows at http://www.ArtichokePress.com You will be glad you did.

If your family is having problems or behavior situations that can not be helped with an article or book, please go to http://www.DisciplineYesPunishNo.com for a program that will transform your family. I recommend it to all my parenting classes.

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Long Distance relationships are a true test to a couple\’s commitment and personal limits. LDRs take a great amount of effort to maintain and often people involved in them, realize that they evolve into a state of emotion that they never found themselves in before. When your partner is miles away from you, it is very easy to let things go wrong and lead your long distance romance to an early death. Some people find it difficult to bridge the distance through communication, others become overly obsessed with what their partner is doing when they are not there and as a result they spiral down a road of jealousy and suspicion. They key is balance and following some basic steps to keep your relationship healthy and strong.

Communicate and visit often

It cannot be stressed enough how important communication is for every relationship, especially if it is an LDR. With the distance working to keep you and your sweetie apart, your defense is keeping all lines of communication open. It doesn\’t matter how you do it as long as you do it. Every long distance couple should find ways to communicate that make both partners comfortable and happy. You can talk on the phone everyday, send e-mails, faxes or text messages and whatever you do make sure you share your feelings and expectations and be true to one another. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some \”rules\” about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive. (Check our Communicate Better and Travel section)

Avoid jealousy and be trusting

One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don\’t fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven\’t met or he/she didn\’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won\’t pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.

Be positive

Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don\’t have \”face-to-face\” time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.

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Visit http:www.waiit.com the Community Website for anyone in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) or interested in this topic.

The site features articles that provide advice and tips about long distance love. You’ll also find forums, videos, and testimonials from people who experienced long distance love.

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So, you thought you have finally found the ONE.

Someone who has an established career, with stable financial status, responsible, good looking, intelligent, and good-humored person has finally come into your life.

But, just when you thought you’ve finally met the ideal man or woman of your dreams, everything seems to be wrong and complicated. Suddenly, he has lost his job, she went bankrupt, he became careless, and she became paranoid about everything. You try to help your partner in dealing with the issues but it always turns out that he or she’s too good to ask help from anybody-even you.

Still, despite everything you still do almost everything to help your beau without you realizing that he or she slowly drags you into the pit of depression and helplessness they’re in. When you feel that you are no longer healthy, happy, and growing in the relationship, that’s the time when you are trapped in bad relationship.

Being stuck and stranded

It is always hard to end any kind of relationship-especially if it’s a romantic relationship. But, no matter how hard to end something that you thought is precious, you should know when to end a relationship especially if you are well-aware that its not doing you any good.

The signs of the times would probably tell you if you are already being stuck in a bad relationship. Experts agree that the relationship is already bad when the couple is going through unusual periods of disagreement and bitterness that can be evitable in some relationships. You will also know if you are already in the pit of a bad relationship when it involves incessant aggravation and everything-even your partner-seems to be out of your reach.

The main determinant if you are in a bad relationship is the behavior of your partner. You can tell that you are being caught up in a bad relationship if your partner is beyond your reach of communication and comprehension, he or she doesn’t want to make any commitment, doesn’t profess his or her feelings even if there is a sort of commitment or plainly incapable of loving someone else besides him or herself.

Studies also show that in any bad relationship, the couple is often on dissimilar wavelengths that there is almost no common ground and no connection or communication that result to irritation and disappointment.

Since bad relationships usually stem from chronic reciprocation of what one or both partners need, the relationship itself can even damage the self-esteem of the persons involved. Bad relationships are also destructive for persons especially those who have invested so much in their careers for their personal lives since these serve as a perfect breeding ground for rage, bitterness, self-doubt, melancholy, and distress.

Aside from emotional distress, staying in a bad relationship can be hazardous to someone’s health. The most common hazard of bad relationship is the physical harm caused by an abusive partner. In less severe cases, being in a bad relationship can cause tensions and various chemical changes often triggered by so much stress.

Being in a bad relationship reflects so much on the person’s overall health and well-being because it can drain energy, thus, lowering the body’s resistance to illness. The common health hazards of being in a bad relationship include severe headaches, back pains, and stomachaches caused by anger and frustration; insomnia and melancholy caused by emotional distress; and weight problems caused by irregular behavioral patterns and depression.

If couples continue to be in a relationship that is no longer healthy, they will try to find a way to escape from being stuck inside by being alcoholic or drug dependent. Worse, being stuck in an unhealthy relationship can eventually lead to recurrent suicide attempts.

Breaking free

What most people inside relationships do not realize is that the more they try to work things out, things get more and more complicated. This is because both people in the relationship try so hard to pass through the stage without realizing that they are detaching themselves with their respective partners. As a result of this detachment is misunderstanding, incompatibility, and soon enough, falling out of love.

If you are already in a bad relationship that robs you off your freedom to be yourself, the freedom to love other person, and the freedom to get out of an unhealthy and destructive relationship, here are some of the things you can do to recover.

1. Consider your wellness as the first priority in life whether you are in or out of a romantic relationship.

2. Try to be “selfish” at times by focusing on your own needs above all else.

3. Be strong enough to deal with your own problems.

4. Have a positive outlook in life and cultivate whatever positive values you acquired within the relationship.

5. Nurture you spiritual side and try to look for ways or activities that can bring you inner peace.

6. If the relationship was quite traumatic, think of getting professional help or find a support group where you can chare your experiences and the lessons you have learned.

7. Don’t be afraid to fall in love but try to be more cautious next time so you won’t be stuck in a bad relationship.

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There are generally two types of mindset when it comes to the prospect of being in a serious, loving relationship with someone. There are those who are quite content being independent and single, they perceive a relationship as a bonus, should someone special enter their life. They are quite self-sufficient and by no means need to have a relationship. They, by and large, are open the idea, should life bring them in that direction.

Then there are those who crave a relationship. They yearn for a relationship, to such an extreme, that they make an unwise choice that leads to sadness, dissatisfaction and broken hearts. The majority of the adult single population fit into the later way of thinking. Desiring a loving, nurturing and safe relationship, they do it: they settle.

Settling is entering into a relationship with a less than desirable mate for the sake of escaping the single life. It is quite common and only inevitably leads down a road of frustration. Caught up in the swirl of desperately trying to find “the one” and the constant ticking of the clock reminding people that they are getting older by the moment, can cause this to happen.

If one settles for a less than pleasing relationships out of the fear of being single and the longing to be a couple, once the relationships falter, the result will be a life full of heartaches. If choosing to remain in the relationship, it will certainly lead to living a life that is not the one truthfully desired. If a person has had a string of broken hearts or is very unsatisfied in their relationship, looking at this from the standpoint of being responsible for whom you choose to be with in a relationship, may bring new perspective to the possibility of settling. If settling is occurring, identifying this as the underlying problem, a person can take preventive measures.

Let us look deeper into the reasons of why one settles. We are raised to believe that the ideal life is one in which we fall in love, marry and then have usually have children. Creating our own family and growing old with our soul mate is instilled in our minds from a very young age. As we enter our late teenage years and early twenties, we are usually weaving our way through relationships, trying to decipher what type of person best fits our needs to sustain a healthy and loving relationship. If a person does not find a truly compatible mate, one that fulfills their emotional and physical needs, provides love, understanding, concern and support through life’s difficulties, it is at this time that one may opt to settle.

There are several aspects involved when one settles. A person may not even realize that they are indeed settling. Fed up with breakups and longing for a stable relationship, a person may settle for a less than compatible relationship. In the beginning of the relationship, this person will feel a temporary relief from the difficulties of being single. With the stereotype of being single in their past, they will enter a relationship full force. Ignoring red flag warnings, and dismissing any subconscious doubts, this person will remain in the relationship until it falls apart. The relationship may be stormy, as a result of an false connection, or it may be a rather peaceful relationship but lacking the strong and powerful love that one deserves.

Settling may bring temporary happiness, however the key word is temporary. When a person is in a relationship that is not the ideal one for them, they are choosing to close off the option of finding true love. This is not fair to the either person in the relationship. We all desire love. We all desire for someone to care for us above all else. We all desire the feeling of being safe and secure in the arms of another. Setting does not produce those results.

If realizing that you are settling, ask yourself this: Do you wish to spend your time in a relationship that is doomed or will bring you limited satisfaction? If entering into one relationship after another with people that you know do not possess the qualities that you are ultimately seeking, do you wish to continue doing so, knowing it will lead to disappointment when the relationship ends?

We all possess the capability to set reasonable expectations in a future mate. Looking into our hearts, we know what type of person will fulfill our needs. Remaining single and waiting to meet someone that will provide you with a truly loving relationship is wise. You should be pleased that you are abiding to your standards. Falsely believing that continuing to remain single is such a dreadful choice, and settling is the option you choose, you will be losing the prospect of truly enjoying your life bonded with someone you undoubtedly love.

If you think you may be settleing because of loneliness read How To Put An End To Loneliness

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For more articles on love, dating, divorce and parenting visit Gary’s 3 web sites.

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Ever notice how you put more value on something you worked hard for over something else that just fell on your lap? A common example of this is when you see someone spend lottery winnings on a fancy house, but thinking twice about investing life savings.

When something comes with a great deal of effort, that object increases its worth to that person who went through a great deal to get it. The same can be said about relationships. Someone who was won over with little effort can be let go just as easily. But when one is made to invest time and resources, it is harder to let them simply slip away.

Guys, believe it or not, it is okay, if not healthy, to let your lady work at your relationship and making things slightly more challenging for her to get you. After all, women have been playing “hard to get” for the longest time. It’s only right that they be returned the favor.

You may agree, but then you may not know exactly how. So read on for some helpful ideas on letting your mate work on increasing the value of your relationship.

- Retain some enigma.

Perhaps in their eagerness to impress the ladies, guys nowadays tend to share information about themselves short of a resume. That leaves very little for a woman to build her curiosity on.

Women are creatures of curiosity. They are wired to hunt for information on something that they are interested in. Just looking at how they consume gossip magazines will show you that.

Let this work to your advantage by revealing just enough information about yourself to get them interested while giving them hints on how to find out more. For example, let her know that you two have a common friend, but only give hints as to who it is. If she is in the least interested, chances are she’ll be asking everyone she knows if they know you. As a result, you’ll probably be constantly on her mind – which is a very, very good thing.

- Challenge her views.

If you don’t agree with some things your lady believes to be the only truth, let her know your opinions as otherwise. You will find that she will engage you with a lot more enthusiasm, if only to win you over to her side.

The advantage to this is that if you get “won over” by the arguments she made for her case, she’d feel a greater sense of attachment to you. Just be careful in doing so as your challenge can very easily be perceived as picking a fight, which may turn out badly for the both of you.

- Acquire a new skill together.

Whether it is a craft or a sport, encourage your girl to take up something she’s never had before with you. As she agrees, subtly push her to perform better than you are. If you are a very competitive type of guy, this may be quite difficult for you.

But if you keep your competitiveness in check, and allow her to excel over you with this new skill, you help build her confidence while at the same time making you the focus of her efforts.

- Let her imagination work.

When you and your lady have reached the point where you are physically intimate, you access another aspect of your relationship where you can allow you lady to work on.

When it comes to sex, even if she has already encouraged you to talk about it the first time, do what you can to avoid the topic – at least long enough for her to ask the second time. At this point, indulge her with some ideas you have in mind but leave out the details.

Allowing her imagination to fill in the blanks has already got you set up in her mind about the possibilities of an incredible night with you. Remember, a woman’s most erogenous zone is her brain. Work this part of her and it’ll take all of her self-control not to jump you the next time you meet.

These ideas all work to get your woman to invest more time and effort on you, reinforcing the connection you two have made. But be sure to affirm these efforts and let her know that you notice the work she is putting in. Nothing makes her feel better than to know her man thinks she is not only a great partner, but someone who can stand well enough on her own.

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(Excerpted from “Invisible Blueprints”)

“Love alone

can unite living beings

so as to complete and fulfill them,

for it alone joins them by what is deepest in themselves.”

-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Of all the themes of literature written over the ages, love has probably served as the perennially dominant theme. When many of us contemplate that blissful condition of romantic love, our minds turn to the prospect of a soul mate, that perfect partner who mirrors or complements us perfectly?and we aspire to be in a soul-mated relationship. What is the “soul mate” connection? How do we find our soul mate?

First of all, I’m not sure that there is only one answer to either question. As I have looked at soul mate relationships, I have gotten widely divergent information as to the feel of the relationship. One consistent characteristic I have gotten with many soul mate relationships is a strong sense of partnering, whether in the work they were doing together or in a general sense of their being partners in life. Another quality I have gotten is comfortableness, two people feeling very at ease with each other.

Often I get that the relationship itself is easy—that it doesn’t have to be continually worked at. I have also seen soul mate relationships in which the partners feel completely understood by each other. Some soul mates really spark and stimulate each other’s energy, so that they both feel “charged up” and activated. I’ve also gotten with some soul mates that they “have danced together before.” The phrase “dancing together” appears to be a metaphor for how their souls interact, as there’s always the sense of a higher and quite beautiful connection.

Another phrase I’ve gotten is “children in the garden.” This phrase always conveys a beautiful quality to the connection, as if it was the innocence deep within them that resonated, so that there was a very pure quality to their connection. Hence, two “children in the garden” in a very pure and innocent state of relating to each other, protected by their innocence and unsullied prior to any “fall”? often creating their own lovely, untarnished world together.

In still others, there’s a sense of feeling more complete when together, as if their energies had something similar with which to resonate or the deepest parts of their essences could now be expressed, understood, and welcomed by the other. I have also seen an equality of energies in many soul mate connections.

In many relationships there is a hierarchy, whether expressed through power in the dynamics of the relationship or whether denoting a higher level of personal development. In many soul mate relationships, however, there is equality both in interaction and in personal development, with no question of one person wielding more power over the other. And, as mentioned above, the two partners may be stimulating each other’s growth, but the sense of partnering outweighs and transcends any difficulty stemming from a learning aspect.

On a soul level, I have gotten various expressions of connectedness ?from soul mates who felt like twins, to two halves of the same whole. I’ve seen others who complement each other’s energies completely. I’ve seen still others whose connection feels vertical and high, as if they fit together completely on several levels. In some, there is a feeling of huge energy together and in others, a complete fit.

One consistent theme is that of complete resonance, but not a resonance of the inauthentic stuff. Instead, it is a resonance of each one’s essence, the true selves resonating harmoniously and completely. This attribute has implications for how we find our soul mate.

I have seen some consistent things with regard to finding one’s partner. The first has to do with lessons learned through learning relationships. You’ll recall that learning relationships are those that teach us lessons in growth. One lesson from learning relationships I’ve seen consistently has to do with discernment ? in knowing what we want in a relationship and in our partner (separate from any superficial considerations of appearance, income, etc.) — e.g., how we want to feel in a relationship and what internal qualities we want the other person to have. Conversely, this discernment also allows us to know what we don’t want, whether external habits (substance abuse or inconsideration, for example) or internal attributes (e.g., emotionally closed off or self-absorbed). Difficult learning relationships can often — and sometimes rather emphatically — teach us what we don’t want in a partner.

So discernment can be an important factor in finding a soul mate; until we are clear about what we want and do not want, we will usually settle for what presents itself.

I have seen instances of people wanting to be in a relationship so badly that when they met someone they were attracted to, they disregarded the problematic qualities of the person or the problem areas of the relationship. Wanting badly to be in a relationship can lead us to be in a state of denial about any red flags we see – those undesirable or inappropriate qualities of the object of our affections. As a result, the relationship will often not be terribly pleasant. However, it may simply be a necessary learning relationship, to teach us about discernment or finding peace and fulfillment in being alone.

The advantage of going through a series of such learning relationships is that we’ll often get to the point where we’re so burned out from the relationship problems that we’ll resolve not to get into another one unless it feels totally right. This enables us to move past our “relationship at any cost” stance to the more desirable position of knowing what we want — and what we don’t want. Thus, these lessons in discernment move us closer to being ready to connect with our true partner with whom we can truly and purely resonate, while we also strengthen enough in ourselves to find the peace and ease in being alone when need be.

I have gotten the information consistently that some clients will be ready for their true partner only after they have recognized, claimed, and embraced their true selves. We’ve all heard the maxim that “you can’t really love someone else until you learn to love yourself.” Put another way, we can’t be truly open to someone else until we’re completely open to ourselves. And this is often a prerequisite to being able to belong with our soul mate. Our soul mate often appears for some of us only after we have cleared some of our stuff and are more in touch with what our true essence is.

For others, the prerequisite to finding their soul mate may lie in external, rather than internal, change, in that their true partner may appear when they cease trying to do what others expect of them and start living their lives in a way that reflects who they really are and what they really want. I will often see this latter aspect expressed in the area of work or career. For these people it is frequently only after they have allowed themselves to do work that expresses both who they are and what their interests are that their soul mate appears. One of the reasons this is so is that even if they know who they truly are but are doing work that doesn’t express their true self, they are still living somewhat inauthentically. The soul mate often appears when their lives are more authentic and reflective of true self. In addition, expressing who we are through our activities can have the effect of strengthening us even further in who we innately are. This said, however, it is not always true that we must find a career completely resonant with our essence in order to find our soul mate.

I’ve seen cases in which the true soul mate appears before some of the primary inauthentic stuff is cleared — and I’ve seen two ways in which the client and relationship are affected as a result. I’ve seen some lovely situations in which the soul mate relationship was so positive, supportive, and healing that it actually served to stimulate the healing of one person’s emotional stuff (e.g., low self-esteem). In these instances, clearing the inauthentic stuff was not a prerequisite for finding the soul mate.

I’ve also seen clients who had found their partners, but the relationships were not going well or there were blocks to their being together, because one or both people had stuff to work through before the relationship could succeed, or even before they could be together. If there is a large amount of inauthentic “stuff” on the part of one of the partners that hasn’t yet been cleared, it may serve as an impediment to the relationship moving forward — even if the two are soul mates — and/or there may be problems in the relationship.

I’ve seen several cases of soul mates who were not yet together because one or both had personal issues to work on, and, interestingly, it is frequently the man who had issues to clear. This is perhaps so because of the general disparity between where men and women are in their lives and in clearing their inauthentic stuff. Because of the women’s movement, women have, generally speaking, worked on some of their stuff in the past twenty to thirty years — empowering themselves, becoming aware of and clearing their stuff, and becoming overall clearer in their vision. Men, in contrast, have largely not done as much personal work on themselves. This has created a real disparity between where men and women are on their respective paths. This disparity in growth has bled through to the area of romantic relationships. Fortunately, the fairly recent phenomenon of the men’s movement has started the process for men to begin to catch up.

Interestingly, I’ve also learned that we may often have an energetic rapprochement on some level before someone very significant comes into our lives. Not infrequently before two partners meet, they may communicate with each other on some level, whether consciously or unconsciously. I’ve known clients who started dreaming of their partners prior to their actually meeting physically. And I’ve known other clients who didn’t just dream of their partner, but were communicating with their partner in the dream state prior to meeting.

Two people who are strongly and closely connected, especially soul mates, will often start to move into each other’s energy fields before physically meeting. This will often happen shortly before they. Intuitives who can see or sense the aura or energy field will often pick up on this and see or sense the other person’s presence there.

A very little-known manifestation of this will be communication on the sexual level prior to two soul mates physically meeting. This can be experienced as strong and rather intense sexual feelings, coming seemingly out of the blue with either a sense of urgency or a sense that they’re coming from someone else “out there.” Time and distance are no impediments to this happening and the two soul mates could be states or continents apart. This sexual communication will often be experienced as a precursor to the people directly communicating or even knowing that the other person actually exists. This is a very real phenomenon — and often perplexing to experience if you haven’t already heard about the possibility of such things occurring.

This preknowledge of the soul mate or significant partner coming in, whether in dreams, telepathy, or sexual communication, would appear to happen outside of our conscious volition. It may be initiated on other levels of our consciousness or may be the universe trying awaken us to the possibility, perhaps as preparation for actually meeting and interacting with our soul mate. I sometimes smile and consider “Cupid’s arrow” as causing the sexual communication, as it happens without either person trying to initiate it and would appear to be initiated by an outside agent. On the other hand, interestingly enough, this sexual phenomenon does not necessarily imply that the two people are indeed soul mates or are meant to be together either in person or throughout their lives. These phenomena may be heralding the arrival in our lives of someone who will simply affect us deeply for our own unfolding process.

There are other ways in which we may have knowledge aforehand, frequently quite unconsciously, of our soul mate, often expressed as foreknowledge of the attributes our soul mate will have, of the situation we’ll encounter with him/her, etc. We may find ourselves consistently drawn to various people who may all have one particular attribute in common; for instance, we may find ourselves in a pattern of being drawn to writers over and over again. Whereas patterns in our relationships may often signal an unhealthy pattern, herald issues we need to work on in ourselves, or simply represent a familiar pattern from childhood, this is not always the case. We may be continually attracted to writers, for example, because we’ve always had an unconscious intuitive awareness that our soul mate would be a writer.

Some people have an unconscious awareness of what their soul mate will be like or what situation may surround their relationship. This unconscious awareness can exist, I feel, because we choose our lives before we come into them. Although we tend to have a general amnesia about what we are to encounter and experience (so that we may indeed go through learning and growing experiences freshly), some people will retain some artifacts of awareness, on the unconscious level, of what the script for their lives will be — a scene, for example, or a face, a characteristic, or a career that will be connected to their soul mate.

We may feel that a soul mate relationship must feel a certain way. Interestingly, however, people who find their soul mates will often have varying subjective experiences of what the connection feels like. In some relationships people may feel more whole, engaged, or truly alive.

I have also gotten information about soul mate connections counter to what I had previously thought was true. I used to feel that we have only one soul mate and that this was the person we have been with from one lifetime to the next as our soul mate. What I have seen instead is that there are often several possible soul mates in existence and that we may be with one in some lifetimes and with others in other lifetimes.

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spirit named Grandmother Willow. Grandmother Willow tells Pocahontas to listen to her heart. John is only wounded, but he must return to England for medical treatment if he is to survive. Pocahontas and her people arrive to see them off, and John and Pocahontas bid their goodbyes. … Pocahontas part cartoon Pasion4Passion entertainment romance love story family animation John Smith for kids children animated Meeko Powhatan Governor Ratcliffe Native American relationship historical folklore …

About Author

Diane Brandon is an Integrative Intuitive Counselor, Intuition Expert & Teacher, Speaker, Radio Host, & Author. This article is excerpted from her book, “Invisible Blueprints” (order at www.dianebrandon.net/products.asp). More information on her work may be found on her sites, www.dianebrandon.com and www.dianebrandon.net. She’s the host of “Living Your Power” on the Health & Wellness Channel of VoiceAmerica.com and may be contacted at diane@dianebrandon.com.

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