How To Have A Succesful Long Distance Relationship?
November 26, 2009 by admin
Filed under Relationship Advice
Long Distance relationships are a true test to a couple\’s commitment and personal limits. LDRs take a great amount of effort to maintain and often people involved in them, realize that they evolve into a state of emotion that they never found themselves in before. When your partner is miles away from you, it is very easy to let things go wrong and lead your long distance romance to an early death. Some people find it difficult to bridge the distance through communication, others become overly obsessed with what their partner is doing when they are not there and as a result they spiral down a road of jealousy and suspicion. They key is balance and following some basic steps to keep your relationship healthy and strong.
Communicate and visit often
It cannot be stressed enough how important communication is for every relationship, especially if it is an LDR. With the distance working to keep you and your sweetie apart, your defense is keeping all lines of communication open. It doesn\’t matter how you do it as long as you do it. Every long distance couple should find ways to communicate that make both partners comfortable and happy. You can talk on the phone everyday, send e-mails, faxes or text messages and whatever you do make sure you share your feelings and expectations and be true to one another. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some \”rules\” about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive. (Check our Communicate Better and Travel section)
Avoid jealousy and be trusting
One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don\’t fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven\’t met or he/she didn\’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won\’t pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
Be positive
Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don\’t have \”face-to-face\” time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.
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Visit http:www.waiit.com the Community Website for anyone in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) or interested in this topic.
The site features articles that provide advice and tips about long distance love. You’ll also find forums, videos, and testimonials from people who experienced long distance love.
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Understand something
Man is a walking sex machine.Man wants sex sex sex,a bit romance until he gets bored,sex sex sex
Woman is the opposite,but hey,man must get along if he wants sex.
I wouldnt date you,you ptobably suck at bed.Also your brain is pretty fucked up.
With love and kisses.Goodbye
PRECISELY!!! I have NOOOO idea what she’s talking about…keep it simple, short and straight WOMAN!!
“Neither I nor my wife believe that it is solely the man’s job to charge the air w/romance. Many times she will come home w/a pizza, 6pack, and latest “guys movie” to watch together. ”
You got a good wife man
@Jabes1966 wow, that’s weird.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Keep in touch. Maybe send videos of you singing or saying how much you miss her or something ( hey I know it sounds cheesy but it might help). Maybe regular letters too cause then if she does find someone she likes, maybe he will see that you are corresponding.
And if she really does like you and you her, she won't go traipsing after another guy, if she that fickle then why would you want her anyway? She wouldn't be worth you. 
Plus, there's always more wonderful girls in the world too, you know.
I've been in a long distance relationship for 4 years now. He came to my high school to study for a year and we met there. We were only 16. He had to go back to his country (Germany) while i stayed in the States. We were scared at first because it was so far away but are really happy that we stuck it out and are together. We want to finish school, but once we are done with that we want to get married and move in together. He has met my family and i have met his. We are now almost 21 and we love being together.
Long distance relationships are tough..I'm currently in one. I find that I have my good and bad days with the whole thing…there are times where I can get really lonely and depressed. It sucks to not have my boyfriend around when I'm having had a bad day. And I always find myself really missing the small things, like just being able to watch TV together and cuddle. It makes me appreciate at it a lot more..but I would rather have him close to me. They can work if you want them too, there's a lot of trust and there has to be a strong love that can survive going months without seeing each other. I believe that if you really want it to work..then it will. But of course my hope is that we will eventually move closer together, which I'm sure is yours..sometimes things like school, and work just get in the way when you're young. You just have to remind her how much you love her and do as much as you can that is possible.
I hate it everytime I hear from other women that all guys are pigs. I say to them dont let a few bad apples destroy the whole tree. Its so hard to find a girl around here because theres too many assholes with alternative motives. All the girls are scared to date anyone.
So what are women’s reciprocating responsibilities to prove that she loves her man? Shouldn’t women sometimes organize surprises for her man?
This video seems to be about the guy “proving his romance” in order to get sex.
How come it’s always men who have to do _______ to instill romance? Neither I nor my wife believe that it is solely the man’s job to charge the air w/romance. Many times she will come home w/a pizza, 6pack, and latest “guys movie” to watch together.
It's hard to say and it definitely depends on what this arguement was about. You obviously have done your part and wrote him, so now, you just have to sit back and wait for his response. It sucks, but, three times is plenty, as one should have been enough.
In regards to the smoking issue, it seems if you really want to make that commitment to him, you might as well really start trying hard to quit now while you are in the situation you are in. Consider it the worst case scenario to quit. If you can get over it while that is going on, you probably won't be as tempted to start back up since you got over it in that environment. Honestly, quitting smoking, you should do it for you more so than for him. Relationships aren't assured in life, your smoking habit, that's all you man.
So basically, sit back, hang tight and wait for his response and secondly, stop smoking because you want to, not because of someone else, because, what if you quit, and you two don't last, man, that would have sucked.
That's my 0.02. Good luck.
Interesting question and one that many people face as they go through life. I don't have an answer for you but perhaps I have a few thoughts.
A seven month relationship however ideal is not necessarily that secure or certain. Perhaps if you stay it will grow and one day you'll find it's really nice and secure. Or, you may find it falling apart. Who knows? If it does fall apart, you'll really resent having stayed.
If the relationship really is as wonderful as you suggest, I don't think a year or two apart is necessarily tough. Time flies rather quickly after all. It's quite possible that if you really have a sound relationship you'll be able to keep it alive over that period and perhaps even grow it. If it doesn't survive perhaps it was not meant to be and maybe it would have failed anyway.
So that's one thought. Another thought is to ask what he thinks. Is he supportive of you becoming more educated and experienced with other cultures. If he is, what's the problem, he'll wait. If he's not supportive, now is the time to find out exactly to what extent he does care about helping you fulfil your dreams. If he's more the type who wants you at home raising kids and being shut ouf from the world, maybe it's better to bring this to an end now or alter your dreams to be more consistent with his ideals. If you're really a couple already as you believe, be a couple of see if the two of you can come to a decision. It's a great way to see how supportive he is and can be.
A third thought is to ask why you're doing this at all. If you're learning simply for the sake of learning, well you can as easily do that from a book. On the other hand if you're on a relentless quest for new wisdom and if going through this new experience you will become wiser and more effective at what you eventually want to do with your life, I'd say go for it especially if this is important to you.
In the end though, you can't have it all, so you will have to decide. I hope these thoughts might help tip the balance to one side or the other. Good Luck!
Run as fast as you can once a cheater always a cheater……. there are good guys out there that are not afraid to commit!
Perhaps the low self-esteem is what has been your issue all these years? I would be scared to death of catching an STD (but i'm a woman, so maybe that's why i think of these things).
You have to ask yourself if you want to keep this current relationship on a healthy plane. If so, maybe put the work and effort forth to make it work, and to be honest and trustworthy (in your own eyes, if nothing else).
First, i don't think it's necessary for girls to have your phone number or you to make internet information available to them. Change your phone number and email if you have to. There's no reason i can think of to give people you barely know your phone number (good looking, hot or not!).
Learn to say "no" but to be flattered for the attention when you are barraged with girls. Maybe put yourself in your partner's place (how would you feel if she were cheating on you?). Maybe that would make things a little clearer in your mind.. not sure.
If your self esteem is suffering, there is plenty of information on line for help — having sex with a myriad of different women isn't going to help your self-image. You can do a yahoo search for Self-Esteem Self Help and you will find a lot of free, sound advice.
I'm sure you're a great person with a lot to give. You are taking something away from YOURself every time you cheat…. not just the girlfriend. After you have sex with a stranger, do you really feel better about life? Probably no different, and i doubt if it makes your life grander. Food for thought.
If this issue is affecting your daily life, and has become a problem in your own eyes, there is nothing wrong with consulting a therapist about it. No one has to know — it's your own business!
Take care, and i hope things work out for you!
“meetings taking to my self”
by the way, she is cute :p
myself and my husband had to deal with a long distance relationship… i lived in florida and he lived in tennessee.. for 5 years. we just made sure that we talked everyday and saw each other when ever possible.. if you really love someone than you both will accomplish anything to be together. he ended up moving to florida when he had enough moeny and then when i had finished everything that i had to do there we moved back to tennessee… it is a give and take situation.. both people have to be willing to move for the other and give up what they know to possibly have something better.